The Epic Journey of Boy Lonely: Part Three

Does the boy know that he is a loner
or does he think as he is the only one in this world
so that there will be no more than him
which means loneliness is not a matter anymore?

So long the boy gazed upon the plain endless
that he began to feel nauseous
“What is this burning smell?”
the boy asked to himself

Oh, boy
you have no idea

That, good readers, was the time when the ground started to shake
and the very earth began to glow
So bright the red light that seared upon the boy’s eyes
he saw nothing but darkness
and utter darkness

Poor boy little knew what had happened
that he must scream hard and even harder
but nothing was heard back
not even a whisper of the wind
not even a sound of rustling leaves

Tears fell from his eyes
and sitting on a now blackness yet hard and burning
the boy muttered, hardly unheard,
“I don’t want to be lonely anymore.
be my friend…”

Through nothingness now he walked
searching for a friend
the boy walked and walked
in a quest to find a friend
because he didn’t want to be lonely anymore


The Epic Journey of Boy Lonely: Part two

Unknown to most people
the boy set sail from his narrow world
into the unknown, that’s for sure
but even before his little journey started
a vulture came across the boy
With his bald head and white eyes
he is old, grim, and friendly at the same time

“Where are you going?” the vulture asked
As the boy had no idea to tell the stranger, he answered
“Maybe I’ll just go wherever the wind takes me.”
“Isn’t it too dangerous, sailing amidst the clouds?”
asked the vulture,then he soared high to the sun
and suddenly that voice was heard
the voice of a hungry scavenger waiting for another leftover corpse
and those trembling hands
of the boy who realized he just did the impossible
“What now?” he asked
But as he was all alone
nobody could answer that question

His little boat sunk to the cold and wet clouds
he went down and down
and down
until there were clouds no more
and these splashing sensations from all direction
woke him from his nap
“The clouds!” he cried
But the clouds are still hanging up there
and the boy, standing on an endless plain
is even lonelier than before

The Epic Journey of Boy Lonely: First Part

Let’s make it clear
This is what’s epic:
“Never gonna give you up
Never gonna let you down
Never gonna run around and desert you
Never gonna make you cry
Never gonna say goodbye
Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you”

Seriously, what’s so epic about this story?
Well, it began with a boy who tried to move a rock
he tried so hard until he sweat blood
but the rock stood still
“Bloody rock,” he swore
Suddenly one day the rock was gone
the boy was stoned in wonder
as the rock in fact was just a mere gravel
in the garden of a pacifist giant
So who’s the boy, then? He wondered
He was the boy, of course, but what’s this world exactly?
From then on he began to realize that he’s lonely

My Poem Sucks

I have no idea how to write anything
nor I have any idea why I write anything
I am no God, I don’t know everything
are you sure that you know what you are doing?
For everything is unsure
I also am unsure about how these words can be of any use at all

We don’t have to scratch deeper than the first layer of skin
because the more we scratch
the more we realize how futile it is
to understand that there is no core
deeper than our own perception of other’s mind

But don’t mind my ramblings at all
’tis better to leave it as it is
and move on, we got work to do
Do you know how many time wasted
while you read these words?

Don’t think too much
I can’t put meanings and symbols vast enough
to satisfy your need of philosophy
Make your own, dammit!
Bring down this world with your own army of words
and stand beside me
and we’ll see how barren it is
our imagination since the day we watched television
Yeah, I’m not kidding
watch and learn, we got work to do

Love, The Harbinger of Destruction

Are we all blind in front of love, or is it just human nature to destroy everything to have what they want?

So this is the story of a giant who strive for total domination. He is Rahwana, the lord of a faraway kingdom, who shakes heaven with his feet, and destined to die in a struggle for his love. The great Rahwana thinks that he can have everything in the world. So he snatched Shinta, the goddess of his dream, and challenges Rama, his archenemy, in a battle of a lifetime. Knowing the fact that he will live forever, such feat seems to be possible.

There is no limit for his greed and no wisdom can hold him from the inevitable rampage. But even immortality cannot hide from death himself. Rahwana dies for the sake of greater good…

or is it love that kills him?

Gembala Nada, The Shepherd of Melodies

If there is something I would share to the world, it’s the songs I’ve heard throughout the universe. What exactly can we hear from this chaotic world, where beauty is already out of the game? Don’t you worry that much. Close your eyes, no matter where you are. Listen to all of those uncaptured notes, wayward beats and stray harmonies waiting to be held together, to be embraced in unity, to please us humans who are notorious for having an unending lust for pleasure. If there is something I would share to the world, it’s a message that as long as there is passion, beauty can be found anywhere.


Nobody really understands you

You can kiss the hearty lips of the moon

or drink the blazing piss of the sun


there’s no theory in how

people can understand you

We all are born for our own

Whether we shape our destiny

with high dreams or solid idealisms that

nobody shall understands you, so be it

But beware!

Many mirrors,


our true selves in another destinies

even possibilities alone can make us lost in life

But no,

if nobody really understands you

then your path is certainly clear

To death or destruction

does it really matter?

Journal of a Buto Ijo #3: Our Worst Nightmare

So I’ve been listening to this song for weeks. It’s a power metal song called ‘Beethoven’s Nightmare’ by Dragonland. What’s so special about it that I have to mention this song right in the beginning? Well, first, it’s a nice song. It’s catchy for a metal song. But what’s intriguing is the lyric. It loosely describes the days of Ludwig van Beethoven since he became deaf. Do you know how it feels to have your only key to release your fullest passion taken away? Imagine your greatest dreams, perhaps seeing the most beautiful scenery in the world, but you have no eyes to see it. Just read this breathtaking lyric: “See my hands, conducting a nightmare.” It only needs one word. Yes, one word, and BOOM! Masterpiece.

The word ‘nightmare’ put on the song just made it into one of the most powerful words I’ve heard recently. It shakes me into a deep reflection, bringing back memories and whatever is left behind and suddenly this one ugly thought just floats. What if….what if…aaargh!

I closed my book and call it a day

and yeah, the computer is still on and the song is played as I fell asleep,

in repeat mode.

Rhytmn of the Rain

The rain came earlier today

or later

I have no sense of time anymore


To me, darkness


skin my face just about the same


Does rain, or the rainbow after

can ever

describe one’s feeling dumped in the mud?


We dance, we cry, we fly, we fade away


the rain held us like puppets in the strings

A rain of strings


Is it someday?

Or one day

when our minds can mend as one


And the rhytmn of the rain


wraps us our beautiful days

and give tomorrow for granted

our edge of happiness

Journal of a Buto Ijo #2: At Least, A Girl!

Around the end of February, I got a very good news. My sister-in-law’s baby was finally born. God, I’ve become an uncle! The baby is a girl and she was delivered normally. At least! A woman in my family, how fascinating. Just so you know, my family consists of four brothers and not a single woman in the bloodline. My big brothers run the boarding house where I live, and you can’t imagine how messed up the place is. We just need the presence of a woman! Well, I’m not making any sense now, eh?

The girl was born in Kalimantan. I’m not sure where, but it’s probably in Samarinda because that’s where my brother lived. She was named Lubna Zil Suryo. My brother said Lubna Zil means prayer for protection or something, and Suryo is based on his name. I’m also confused with the name because it’s not a typical Indonesian name, but hey, it doesn’t matter as long as the name has good prayers in it, right? I mean, just look at how adorable she is!

I hope this newborn life can bring even more happiness to our family, that she will make us stronger and makes another reason to live. I hope the joy I felt when she was born can last forever. I bid you welcome, little sister!